UncleN'

While I was in New Jersey my nine-year-old nephew asked me if I wanted to play football with him, so for the first time in my life I voluntarily went out to toss around the old pigskin. I started with a little avuncular chatter: good hustle; oh, just a little high; sorry that was a lousy throw, and then all this advice people had been giving me, utterly of course without benefit, started to come out of my mouth: Hold your fingers like this, then you can bring the ball into your chest when you catch it; throw it a little ahead of me, to keep it away from the defender. Imagine if you can your Moronic correspondent trying to throw spirals and run buttonhooks, all in an attempt to be a good uncle.