Christmas Special: No Returns

Gifts lined up in a row
Each one with a bow
Corners all just so

I haven't any bling for you
All that I can bring for you
Is the song I sing for you

And when you open up 
My little song
What if I got
The size and color wrong?

Love, this is not show biz
My song comes "as is"
No returns, as is.

Christmas Special: Boxing Day

They say the most important thing's

A positive attitude

So we'll smile uneasily while

You show your gratitude:

Thank you for the twenty bucks you tipped us

Thank you!

Thank you for the bottle that you slipped us 

Thank you!

Never mind the many times you clipped us

Thank you!

Thank you for your presents on this Boxing Day

We don 't mind how often you've neglected us

We don't mind!

We don't mind that you have disrespected us

We don't mind!

The petty insults to which you have subjected us

We don't mind!

Thank you for your presents on this Boxing Day

A special day is set aside,

The feast day of St. Stephen

For charity that otherwise

You really don't believe in

Thank you for this one day when you serve us

Thank you!

When you pretend you really don't deserve us

Thank you!

Even though it only makes us nervous

Thank you!

Thank you for your presents on this Boxing Day