Why bother?

I could press my only good shirt
And pretend to flirt
But why bother?

I could put a suit and tie on
Try to dress like Lord Byron
Why bother?

Why bother when the global warming
Is going to make the whole thing moot
I doubt I'd be very charming
Underwater in a scuba suit

I could work on my coiffure
Get a manicure
Why bother?

I could sing a nice serenade
Slightly dumb and cliched
Why bother?

Or I could try to write you a sonnet
Aw, but then dawgone it
Why bother?

Why bother when Iran and Korea
Are going to drop a bomb on our heads?
Why bother when the only thing to fe-ah
Is the fear that we'll all soon be dead?

I could be the guy who brings roses
Quite a metamorphosis
Why bother?

I could stay in your favor
On my good behavior
Why bother?

I could even act adoring
When you're so boring
But why bother?

Why bother when the War on Terror
Always remains at Code Red?
Should I fear exploding underwear or
The fact that I can't use the head?

I could say I'd love you forever
Quite a noble endeavor
Why bother?