Monday, January 21, 2013

4.P

Came up with this while reading Dorothy Parker on the flight home from Montgomery AL:


All my wisest friends have told me
If you'd save yourself distress
Keep a close watch on your heart
Be the one who loves the less

Love well, my friend, but not too much
So they tell me that it's best
To lose your head but not completely
Be the one who loves the less

If you keep your feelings penned up
Slightly distant and amused
You're much more likely to end up
With your heart just slightly bruised

This is what my wise friends tell me
Thinking of my happiness
Yet I think just one more time I'll
Be the one who loves to excess

Saturday, January 19, 2013

Last November I had an attack of the gout that had me limping for a few weeks.  The doctor told me I had to end my relationship with my old friend Bertolino Bourboni.  He since relented and told me it's OK to see him, now and again, socially, but that our former passionate friendship might lead to more and more frequent gout attacks.  I've done it before, of course, but this is a sad thing.  Tuba-playng and sobriety don't go together so well.

Friday, January 11, 2013

Bobbi's Coming Back


We've had our little summer fling
Our brief clandestine tryst
But I can't see you any more
Please go now, I insist…


Bobbi watches all her fellows
Her temper's bad, and she's jealous
Better run girl, girl run faster
If she catches you, it'll be a disaster
Tell your priest to start saying mass
'Cause Bobbi's going to kick your ass
All the way to Indiana
She's a new Tura Satana

'Cause now Bobbi's coming back
B-B-B-Bobbi's coming back
Bobbi's coming back to town
You won't like the resolution
Of her acts of retribution
But Bobbi's coming back to town


Sure we had a brief flirtation
But it's time to change your focus
Weren't you talking about taking a vacation
To visit your sister in Ho-Ho-Kus?


Don't think she'll get any softer--
Now she's taking her earrings off her
She will go and snap your body
She knows kung-fu and karate
Bobbi has the force when she gets vicious
Of a few well-armed militias
She'll do grievous bodily acts of harm
Someone just might buy the farm

'Cause now Bobbi's coming back
B-B-B-Bobbi's coming back
Bobbi's coming back to town
You better get your bags packed
If you don't want to get whacked
'Cause Bobbi's coming back to town



                                      The original Tura Satana

Friday, January 04, 2013

The Old Bear to Delmore Schwartz

Poor bear
     His toothless mouth that cannot bite
     His eyes now clouded milky white
     His sad, unending appetite
The old bear’s fallen down

Poor bear
Making wild faces like a brute
Pulling tricks in his charm suit
Panting, roaring, what a beaut
The old bear, man about town

Poor bear
Shambling with his funny trot
Humbled in a bunny squat
Looking for his honey pot 
The old bear of renown

Poor bear
In his sleep lets out a scream
All he ever does is dream
Of eating candy and ice cream
The old bear’s lost his crown

And even when I think I'm alone
He apes every move I make
I hear his sad, pathetic groan
The vast world of his bellyache

Poor bear
The joker with his rubber ball
His shoes too big, his pants too small
They clap and laugh to watch him fall
The old bear's just a clown

Poor bear
Takes one more round on stage
He growls and lunges out in rage
Ha ha!  Too funny! Doesn't need a cage
The old bear's going down